‘Honesty, Humor, and Hope’: Praise for ‘Unconverted’
Literary Titan awarded five stars to Unconverted: A Memoir of Marriage, calling it “sharp and unpretentious, often funny and achingly honest.” Congratulations to author Polly Merritt Ingraham!
Polly Ingraham’s Unconverted is a moving, often funny, and beautifully written memoir chronicling her unexpected marriage to an Episcopal priest and the even more surprising journey that followed. The book tells the story of a secular woman navigating life, love, and identity inside the deep tradition of the Episcopal Church, not as a convert, but as a skeptic and sometimes reluctant participant. Through candid reflection, Ingraham explores what it means to love someone whose beliefs are fundamentally different from your own and how a marriage can flourish without shared faith, provided there’s shared respect, curiosity, and deep affection.
Ingraham’s writing is sharp and unpretentious, often funny and achingly honest. She manages to be both thoughtful and down-to-earth as she walks us through moments of discomfort, discovery, and the quiet ache of being the odd one out in a world of ritual and belief. Her prose doesn’t waste words. She brings you in close, never asking for sympathy, only understanding. I especially appreciated her refusal to fake devotion just to fit in. That kind of integrity made me root for her all the way through. Her love for Rob is never in doubt, but she doesn’t sugarcoat the strain of being partnered with someone whose life is woven into a faith you don’t share.
There’s also something deeply comforting about her insistence on staying herself, even when the pressure to change would’ve made it easier. I felt her unease during the high church services, her resistance to the wafer and wine, her side-eye at the church politics, and clunky old houses with drafty corners. It felt real. And yet, what held this book together wasn’t doubt or division, it was tenderness. Her marriage, though often challenged by theological distance, is grounded in mutual admiration and a kind of quiet, dogged love that I found deeply moving. There’s no dramatic conversion here, no tidy resolution, but there is growth. And a kind of grace that doesn’t require belief to feel.
I’d recommend Unconverted to anyone who’s ever felt like a bit of an outsider in their own life or who’s struggled to be true to themselves while loving someone very different. It’s especially poignant for secular readers navigating religious families, marriages, or communities. This book doesn’t offer easy answers, but it offers something better: honesty, humor, and hope that two people can build a beautiful life without having to believe all the same things. That feels pretty miraculous to me.